When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry...

Initially of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Basic issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t a denying that sober curiosity has elevated not too long ago. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and analyzing their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. In the present day we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we will do if we’re fascinated about a sober (utterly alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy ingesting as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I feel it’s a really private determination, however when you’re any sort of a daily drinker (which means three or 4 nights per week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you’re feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other approach. For those who’re not ingesting in the course of the week, however then ingesting a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the possibility to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her e book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of selection for a minimum of 4 weeks provides clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely just isn’t attainable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you don’t have any concept how shitty you actually really feel while you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you’re feeling shitty. It often takes a couple of weeks in your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there concerns/finest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually is determined by what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to only see when you might make it with out ingesting for 30 days? Or had been you on the lookout for actual well being advantages? Or did you notice that your ingesting has elevated over the previous few years and you understand you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is actually what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. For those who spend a variety of time bargaining with your self each time alcohol is concerned, which results in a variety of “guidelines” round your ingesting, you may need to take a step again.

You may not even pay attention to these guidelines. They’ve simply change into a part of your internal chatter. That chatter may sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No ingesting earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No onerous alcohol in the course of the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so forth.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on per week evening.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my ingesting had been crammed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that had been continuously shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down every day, and that sort of self-disappointment was like a relentless stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your ingesting. You may simply resolve that it’s not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this pondering “I would not have an issue with my alcohol consumption however need to take a extra aware strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions must be explored when fascinated about alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round ingesting and the idea that there are “downside drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and life like, mannequin to make use of on the subject of speaking about alcohol is the thought of ingesting occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the thought of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The great thing about this mannequin is that you just don’t must hit any form of a all-time low earlier than you possibly can discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to resolve at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

For those who’re able to get trustworthy with the position alcohol performs in your life, I might counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get inquisitive about your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to assume. That is about you and the one life that you’ve, and whether or not or not you need a poisonous substance to play a job within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does ingesting align with the particular person I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this scenario?

Tam: What if our pals have gone again to ingesting after Dry January, however we try to proceed. Do you might have ideas/suggestions for how you can make this a part of my way of life with my ingesting pals? 

Krysty: You may want to seek out new pals – haha. However, severely, if your mates actually respect and help you within the selections you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re regularly making an attempt to push you to start out ingesting once more, whining that you just’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila received’t do any hurt, then you definately may must rethink who you’re spending time with. You must determine for your self what you need to do with the time that you’ve, and the folks you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your pal group is closely immersed in ingesting tradition – which means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definately may want to seek out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to switch that Friday evening cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m essentially the most fundamental sober particular person round – and I’m proud of ingesting a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that individuals have completely different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing just a little extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on hearth! There are such a lot of merchandise available on the market – assume flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually might go on and on. I’m regularly impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Complete Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle outlets are beginning to provide such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. For those who’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s sort of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you may need to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and keep a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam